Zaroorat Hai, Zaroorat Hai, Zaroorat Hai
Ek Srimati Ki, Kalavati Ki
Seva Kare Jo
Pati… Ki
Zaroorat Hai, Zaroorat hai Zaroorat Hai

sang Kishore Kumar eons ago in the film Manmauji. Not a very great film. But a catchy tune and very 60’s lyrics. And the whole song was so tongue in cheek that you really wouldn’t get too offended by the lyrics. Atleast, I didn’t.

A few years ago when I was running an educational channel, someone very senior in the company asked me to put together a programme that would prepare women on the verge of matrimony. Understanding their ‘role’ in life as per our societal norms. It was a show that we tried conceptualising - despite our own reservations - and every time we tried to have a brainstorming session the whole team would collapse with laughter. It was 1999 - and why would women need such training.

Today, while reading the ToI, i finally saw light (HT’s entire campaign has gone bust - it is ToI that offers enlightenment of this sort). It ran a report on an institute that churns out ideal bahus. Women who understand our sanskar, the importance of the institution of marriage, their role as a homemaker, and someone who serves her husband diligently.

During a three-month course, girls are taught that the best time to have sex is from midnight to three in the morning. From three to six in the morning is the time to sing bhajans. They are also taught that they should keep the husband’s needs above everything else, that a joint family is an excellent setup, that the seven vows of saath pheras are not forgettable nonsense but lifelong commandments, that an ideal wife must have five “ornaments” — coyness in her eyes, smile on her face, sweetness in her speech, love in her heart and a hand that can work very hard.

I loved the concept of midnight for 3 for sex. and 3 to 6 for Bhajans. Oh God chanted over a 6 hour period is definitely going to get someone, somewhere Nirvana. If nothing else, it redifines the meaning of post coital bliss

Tags: Gender Issues, Society