This from today’s DNA:

A 24-year-old undertrial in Orissa has married a teenage girl whom he allegedly raped and got pregnant a few years ago. The traditional tribal wedding between Padmini Murmu, 16, and Khaira Hansda was solemnised at the Circle Jail at Baripada, the district headquarters of Mayurbhanj, 250 km from the state capital Bhubaneswar, where Khaira is lodged on charges of rape, a jail official said.

I suppose that kissing someone in public, or marrying outside one’s religion is against ‘Indian culture’ but getting married to the man who raped you is very much part of our culture. Afterall, the guy has redeemed the girls’ reputation by filling her forehead with sindoor. By the way, the girl is underage even now, which means that she was even more underage when she got raped. And the jail authorities organised this marriage ? ….. Isn’t there something about upholding the law that is a must for our civil servants? Before we pooh pooh this and say that the victim was a tribal, and possibly uneducated and these things happen there (where ever there is supposed to be) let’s not forget that our esteemed judges have offered the victim the prospect of matrimony with the, rapist a fair few times in cities no less. I wonder where are the morchas, or the protests or the spontaneous expression of our outrage – surely raping, harming, killing someone is against our culture – much more than kissing and cuddling and making independent choices.

5 thoughts on “Rape as Courtship

  1. I totally agree with your views Harini. This bit of news shows how hypo-critical are the supporters of the so-called “Indian Culture”. They insist that everyone must have a proper traditional Indian marriage, wherein the groom promises to protect his wife from all dangers, but in this case, the groom was the one who put his wife into danger in the first place! Very sad!
    Will the trauma in the victim’s mind be cured if the rapist marries her? Or will she forever live with the burden that the person whom she has to spend her life with, with whom she will share everything she has, has already taken it without waiting for her to share it??
    How will she feel on the day of her marriage, which is supposed to be the happiest day in her life, and she has to garland the person who gave her the worst day of her life???
    Isn’t this a hopelessly ironic situation?????
    And above all, is marriage just a license for practising sex? Only then can you say that if the rapist marries his victim, his acts are justified!
    I think as intelligent and responsible citizens, we need to think about this seriously!

  2. oh yeah, ultimately it is all about “honour” – makes me sick. I used to seethe each time I read something like this – but now there is just a sense of despair – some old posts from my blog abut the same topic. sigh…

  3. hi amruta
    it seems like that in some states people can get away with rape, murder and what ever they please, if they pay lip service to prevalent socio-cultural norms.
    in an era when extreme groups are making noises about marital rape being included in the prevention of domestic violence act, it is not surprising to hear complete silence on issues like this. where are our leaders?

  4. hi charu
    i almost stopped blogging about ‘women’s issues’ because everytime i looked, i found something like this. and after a point of time the anger and the outrage becomes impotent.

  5. i just hate these double standards. i am surethe girl was coerced into this talking about her ‘sanskaar’ and ‘ijjat’ and what not. and where does respect come in such a relationship. her life is over even before it started.

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