Today is Bharat Bandh…. at least Mumbai Bandh. The road outside my house is deserted. All the building kids are out playing football. There isn’t a rick to be seen. Buses are few & far between …. And, I have nothing better to do than catch up on reading.
Amongst the old headlines that I read, in my poor inflated google reader, was one that struck me as being the panacea to all problems. It was, of course, my favorite body – the Khap Panchayat – coming out with another gem. They advocate the lowering of marriage age – from 18 to 15 for girls – to prevent elopement and therefore honour killings!
Om Prakash Mann, Haryana president of All India Jat Mahasabha, said.
“By lowering the legal age of marriage, young couples can be prevented from eloping. A girl brings shame to her family when she runs away. Parents kill the guilty children in a fit of rage,” he said.
My first response was WTF, and my second was ‘what a brilliant idea’ – if we take this kind of thinking to its logical end, think of all the social problems that we can solve. I have jotted down a few, please feel free to add your thoughts to this
- Rape – Men Rape. If men are castrated (chemically, we don’t want to cause the poor dears any pain) they can’t rape. So castrating all men – whether or not they are potential rapists will prevent rape.
- Widow remarriage is against our custom. If we didn’t get married, we won’t get widowed/widowered … abolishing marriage, therefore, will prevent widows. and therefore prevent the socially delicate problem of widow remarriage.
- Female Foeticide – If men are castrated, and marriage is banned, then there can be no children and therefore no female foeticide
- Dowry – if there are no girls there should be no dowry. But, to be on the safe side, let’s ban all goods and services. And, while we are at it – let’s ban money.
- Pollution – Industries cause pollution. Get rid of industries then most pollution will disappear. Also, since industries produce goods, and people ask for goods as dowry – banning industry will also stop dowry …
finally, even if there are only one boy and one girl from the Jat community renaming after all our strictures are followed, we will still oppose intercaste marriage — because it is against our culture 🙂
And finally, to all my friends who were embarrassed by the Maulvi’s and their idiot fatwas, don’t worry the Hindus have caught up 🙂
The Last line a gem! 🙂
🙂
So, castration is solution of most of our problems…LOL
it looks like that. it is either castration or death 🙂
Mockery and Humour are by far the best forms of dissent and you have done that rather well.
Another such Diktat – that has now become “law” in Karnataka is the ban on Beef consumption and cow slaughter.
Now that lower caste cow herders can’t eat their own produce … we can find them jobs in the mining towns of North Karnataka and solve their unemployment problems
If you are looking at humor as a means to achieve an end, I must say AB, that is a poor reflection of your taste. Which has been exhibited by endorsing this pedestrian piece anyway.
Fret not, I shall hit on Harini more and we’ll therefore reform you.
Dam! For a minute there I fell for it and actually took you seriously.
Hehehehehehe…I like the idea. It will so many problems. Lets have a bandh to promote the idea.
Brilliant list Gargi !! When I heard about the Bharat Bandh, I told myself – some things never change. Did you know about the little girl from Slumdog and her plight ? There is that darkness under the “glow” which easily gets missed. In the world of tweeting and FB, there still are these people who would come up with any kind of ideas that scream of how big MCPs they really are.