{"id":1805,"date":"2009-11-15T13:00:55","date_gmt":"2009-11-15T08:00:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/calamur.org\/gargi\/?p=1805"},"modified":"2009-11-15T13:00:55","modified_gmt":"2009-11-15T08:00:55","slug":"the-eight-step-path-to-kick-start-your-political-career","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/calamur.org\/gargi\/2009\/11\/15\/the-eight-step-path-to-kick-start-your-political-career\/","title":{"rendered":"The Eight Step Path to Kick Start Your Political Career"},"content":{"rendered":"
Over the last year, I met many people who wanted to enter politics. Students, CEO’s, Social Activists and the rest. I have been giving some sort of general gyaan <\/em>on the how’s and the what’s of politics – especially\u00a0building\u00a0core support groups and carrying them along.<\/div>\n
But, over the same period I began\u00a0realizing\u00a0that what I am asking people to do is very long term and maybe, they need to follow a different route. So here goes :<\/div>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Beat up women<\/strong> – prefrebly outside pubs or colleges. and claim that they are anti indian or anti hindu or anti muslim or whatever. Make sure that you call the neighbourhood shadiwala videographer <\/span>– journalist so that you get oodles of publicity.<\/span><\/li>\n
  2. Break windows<\/strong> – prefebly outside a news channel. It can because you are bored – but don’t say that to them. Tell them that the billboard outside insults your ( regligious, linguistic, ethnic, caste, tribe…) sentiments<\/li>\n
  3. Burn a Theatere <\/strong>– Not one of those that run porn but a nice shiney multiplex that runs a sweet\u00a0love story\u00a0with a kissing scene. Forget kamasutra<\/em>, khajuraho<\/em> and the rest – kissing is against Indian culture. Burning\u00a0theaters\u00a0is not.<\/span><\/li>\n
  4. Terrorize ‘outsiders’\/minorities <\/strong>– Given that we are a nation of minorities and outsiders – this should be fairly easy. The ‘outsiders’ could be anyone. If you are plannig to stand from Karnataka it could be Tamils, if you are planning to stand from Assam it could be Bengalis, if you are planning to stand from Maharashtra it can be anyone !<\/span><\/li>\n
  5. Dig up some Cricket Pitches<\/strong> – self\u00a0explanatory. You don’t like a country. It could be any country. It is close to elections. They are playing us in India. You need publicity. What better way to get it than to issue threats against the cricket team and dig up the pitches ?<\/li>\n
  6. Burn Books <\/strong>– books are bound to be offensive to someone. conservative Christians, for example find Harry Potter offensive. So, find a book and burn it. prefrebly in front of cameras. If you want nationwide pubilcity – then burn an English book written by a Hindi author outside a news studio.<\/li>\n
  7. Defend a Holy Cow or a Holy God or a Holy Prophet <\/strong>— or all of them simultaneously. Obviously God almighty needs protection from anything that insults him or her. And most things that are done probably offend God(ess) – from spitting to caricaturing. Just find an issue and decide that it bothers God and go for it …..<\/li>\n
  8. Get Adopted<\/strong> – let’s face it political parties are products, and like all products they are marketed.\u00a0Therefore\u00a0you need a brand name and a brand push. if your name is shah or mehta ; verma or sharma ; calamur or patel — it’s not going to cut too much ice. You need names like Gandhi or Nehru or Thackery or Scindia. If you have a generic name like a Reddy or a Patil or a Chavan – then you need even more money to\u00a0differentiate\u00a0your brand from others called the same. so Adoption is the key –\u00a0preferably\u00a0by a rich successful political types. If you can’t get adopted, then you may consider changing your name by deed poll<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    If there are more, please add them \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Over the last year, I met many people who wanted to enter politics. Students, CEO’s, Social Activists and the rest. I have been giving some sort of general gyaan on the how’s and the what’s of politics – especially\u00a0building\u00a0core support groups and…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[12,23],"tags":[446,755,1273,1500],"class_list":["post-1805","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-desi-pundit","category-india","tag-desi-pundit","tag-india","tag-politics","tag-society"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Eight Step Path to Kick Start Your Political Career - A PoV<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/calamur.org\/gargi\/2009\/11\/15\/the-eight-step-path-to-kick-start-your-political-career\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Eight Step Path to Kick Start Your Political Career - A PoV\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Over the last year, I met many people who wanted to enter politics. 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