{"id":7887,"date":"2020-12-27T12:29:11","date_gmt":"2020-12-27T12:29:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/calamur.org\/gargi\/?p=7887"},"modified":"2020-12-27T12:30:59","modified_gmt":"2020-12-27T12:30:59","slug":"column-time-to-raise-non-rapist-sons-of-india","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/calamur.org\/gargi\/2020\/12\/27\/column-time-to-raise-non-rapist-sons-of-india\/","title":{"rendered":"Column: Time to raise non-rapist sons of India"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

This appeared in the FPJ on October 5th<\/strong>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the film Soylent Green<\/strong><\/a>, set in a Dystopian Future, women are furniture. Let out with apartments. Objects meant for sex and only that. In the Book, and later the series, The Handmaid\u2019s Tale<\/strong><\/a>is set in a distant, and a seriously dystopian future.\u00a0 Women have been reduced to subjugation, including sexual slavery and forced reproduction. But we don\u2019t have to look as far as fiction to see women reduced to purely sexual objects \u2013 to be used and disposed. You have seen it in the way the Islamic State dealt with Yazdi women<\/strong><\/a>. You have seen this in stories of horror that came out of the Rwandan civil war<\/strong><\/a>. But, rape and war have a long history of togetherness. Men kill each other, and those who survive rape the women in the lands that they conquer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Soylent Green saw women as furniture – to be let out with an apartment<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

But what is India\u2019s excuse? We are neither a fictional work, nor are we in civil war. So what explains the sheer and utter brutality of gang rape and murder in India? What explains the frequency? What explains men wanting to gouge out women\u2019s internal organs, or break their spines, or burn them alive after the rape? What explains other men and women denying that this even happened, or defending it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Hathras gang rape and murder, where a group of men raped, tortured, and murdered a young woman who was out working, is the latest in the long list of depraved acts that has shocked public consciousness. Hathras is in UP, where caste equations dominate. The rape and murder has an added layer of complexity \u2013 the accused men are Thakurs \u2013 upper caste \u2013 and the victim was a Dalit. Traditionally, Thakur men have not had to  ask Dalit women for consent before having sex. It was considered their right. In deeply patriarchal and feudal societies, civilization is a veneer, and it does not take much for people to regress back to their feudal ways.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is not a problem that UP alone faces. It exists across India.  in Kharilanji, Maharashtra. A 16 year old Dalit girl called Priyanka Bhotmange<\/strong><\/a>, was gangraped by over a 100 upper caste men. Most of them got away with it. There was the Jind rape and murder case \u2013 where a 15 year Dalit girl was gangraped and murdered by uppercaste men. The list is long, brutal, and severely depressing. The fact that men rape women is bad enough. It is worse when you read what they do after they finish raping her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, women in India aren\u2019t just doomed by caste and patriarchy. They also have to face the issue of random chance. The Nirbhaya case was pure random chance. She and her friend happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. It could have been any woman. The case of the Hyderabad dentist was also random. She too was at the wrong place at the wrong time \u2013 and the rapists struck. It could have been anyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rape is a male problem. Men Rape. They have done this through out history, and it is unlikely they will stop unless something is radically done to reform the way they are brought up and socialized. For too long, the restrictions of rape have been on women \u2013 don\u2019t go out, don\u2019t work late, don\u2019t smile too much, don\u2019t laugh. Maybe now, we need to seriously look at how we restrict men from raping.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can\u2019t ask for more stringent laws. This kind of rape and murder already carries the death penalty. On policing \u2013 the best police force in the world cannot battle random chance. There is no point banning porn, men have been raping way before commercial porn came into existence. We have been looking, as a society for external controls of rape. But, the solution may have to be far more fundamentals. The question is, how do we train the sons of India over the next few generations to weed out the toxic masculinity that enables rape? What is it that can be done from the pre-primary level to attune men in India to inculcate behavior that is non threatening.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The author Margret Atwood once wrote \u201cMen are afraid that women will laugh at then. Women are afraid that men will kill them\u201d \u2013 how do men actively work towards making women less afraid of being murdered? The incident in Hathras is not likely to be last of the brutal gangrapes that India will see. Toxic masculinity where sexism, objectification of women, and seeing sex as a conquest, is a rape enabler. Unless men, when they get together with other men, get as offended these as women do,  the culture of rape will continue.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Rape is a male problem. Men Rape. 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