For me, childhood memories of Diwali include getting up at the crack of dawn – literally – and having an oil bath – ganga snanam – before phodofying fatakas and taking sweets to the neighbours. One of the joys of liberalisation and modernisation is not waking up a the crack of dawn and downing decent amounts of caffeine before ganga snanam.

Today was our third diwali as Cogito TV. The first was at Vanrai Colony the second at Bimbisaar Nagar, and currently at Adarsh Nagar. So we landed up there at 9.30 in the morning for pooja. Nothing complex. Just all of us gathered to light lamps, distribute sweets and move on to the shoot. Dial One Aur Jeeto is a live show, and there is no Diwali, no Id, no Independence Day or Republic day for the industry as a whole, let alone a live show:)

On the way back from the office i got stuck at traffic near Andher Station. Hundreds of last minute diwali shoppers thronged the streets. And looking around from the rickshaw that I was in, i could see crackers, clothes, sweets et al everywhere. And people everywhere. And vehicles stuck – everywhere. I thought to my self, what if a bomb went off now. It is bizzare how the mind works at traffic signals. The next thought was – where are the entry and exit points on the road if it did – how do emergency services get in. People are parked everywhere. Cars are double parked, and there is a lot of human traffic on the road that is going to be severely hurt if this happens. On this particular part of the road – with waist level concrete dividers – and narrow alleys on the side, its going to be a bitch for entry and exit. Then the signal cleared, there was no bomb and i went home.

Lenin – or was it Mao – said that the purpose of terrorism is to terrorise. And once again those who cause terror have struck ordinary people going about their daily lives. Thereby increasing their sense of insecurity. There is no reason for me to think about bombs in market places, apart from the fact that bombs went off in Delhi killing ordinary people shopping for Diwali and Id.

The sense of loss and grief are for those who are directly bereaved. For the rest of us it is a heightened sense of paranoia for some time to come.