….. was SR’s response to the HT story on women being molested outside JW Marriot on New Year’s eve. Women ought to know that it is unsafe for them…..Any other time of the year is ok for women, but on New Year’s… the men would be drunk and they are going to behave that way (i.e., molesting women)…He wasn’t defending the molesters. On the contrary he was saying that times like this bring out the worst in men….. and women should know better than to be out putting them selves at risk.
picture – courtsey the Hindustan Times… the entire set of images is here.
SR is, mostly, a nice guy. He is also a secure guy who has no hassles with working women or women who earn well or women who are independent. In fact a lot of his friends are independent working women who lead an ‘independent’ life style. He is the kind of guy who will make sure that inebriated females get home safely, and the kind of guy whom parents are secure about dropping their daughters home… For a long time “SR will drop me home” was a catch phrase for going out…..He makes no value judgements on women or their life style choices , and is a supportive friend….He is also the kind of guy who would probably plough into a situation like this trying to keep unknown women safe … And, yet he made a statement like this…..
There was a time when a statement like this would make me mad…. now it merely makes me sad. If men I know and like, and who have similar value systems think like this… then it is hardly surprising that Neanderthals – men who believe that women exist for their pleasure abide….
http://www.hindustantimes.com/Images/2008/1/e884722c-fbc8-483c-b114-773ea38d675bHiRes.JPG
Have you seen this molester? If yes, call Hindustan Times Mumbai office on 022-66539209, and they will forward the details to Mumbai Police for action.
hi ankur,
thnx. have put this up on the main page….
yet again – the “she was asking for it” sentiment – sigh – read Annie Zaidi’s post?
Hi,
it wasn’t that he meant htat they were asking for it … rather … times like this bring out the worst in men… and women should stay indoors….
Harini: A few hundred thousand women turn up in London to see the new year fireworks. And although it is cold but you would not know it from some women’s attires. Yet not one incident of molestation takes place or is reported to the police for action.
Is your friend suggesting that Indian men have something different in their genetic make-up that they see a woman and want to molest her?
In fact my only experience of being leered at in Europe is from Indian men. Italians and French are leery too but they do not stare; if they think your clothes or hair are nice, they will come and compliment you and go away if you show disinterest. What makes Indian men so inhuman and cheap?
Hi Shefaly,
A lot of Indian men are very nice and decent and would be appalled at this sort of behavior…. as my friend himself puts it this stuff is shocking but not surprising….
Many reasons… partly it is the level of overall sexual repression in society….adding to it is the feeling that a woman who is modern is also available (and available to all)
….we have a binary view of woman … the saint (mother, wife, daughter) and the slut (everyone else) and i guess that it reflects in behavior…
Humiliating a woman who stands up for her rights by stripping her naked is as old as the Mahabharat…. we really have not evolved… do you remember that scene in the bandit queen where phoolan devi is stripped and paraded through the village…. it still happens in India…
first i was kinda confused after reading ur post, but ur last comment said it all
yes there is still tribal culture in this continent and there is no denying it. i also firmly believe that with freedom comes responsibility and plain old common sense.If u know Mumbai u should know that most police duty is to protect the Politicians and vvips not the aam or not so aam janta that frequent 5 stars.
Mumbai wasn’t like this before and has rapidly changed, with the migration of people from the bimaru states.
On being responsible all said and done these girls and their accomplices are also partly to blame because -hey they didnt even bother to file a complaint.
The incident that had happened at Juhu shows the pathetic state of women in our social,secular,sovereign republic country..Eventhough ..
I feel it will take at least one generation for the women here to be safe when all children should are taught morals,gender equality & ethical way of living..
Now they are only taught money making tricks..Parents are proud when their children get placed in a high profile job or when their children score good marks..they do not care about the character of their children..
A dirty mind with an intelligent educated brain will bring a professional criminal who would be hard to crack..So,parents ,teachers,media & the society as a whole should think about their respective responsibilities and should focus on the overall development of a child rather than just expecting the children to score more in their exams & developing money earning skills in them..
Parents and Primary school teachers should play an important role in cultivating basic morality & ethics among children….If children are brought up in this way..they won’t be carried away by the mob frenzie..their intellect will work before they act rather than intellect working after their insane acts…The way of bringing up a child has to change..else we can even see news,some years later or so,mentioning that a mob of women molesting men..These have happened in the western world..
I had not seen the picture that was posted here and it’s shocking.
btw, these incidents happen every single day (scale may vary) in India. Every single day women are ogled at, stared, leered at and pawed. On trains, buses, railway stations, everywhere and in broad daylight. Women in India know this and that is why only a fool would go out on new years at night on the road. People get shocked when they hear this said, but why not protect ourselves? Would a person bedecked with jewels go into the jungles of chambal? She/He would’t and when he/she is warned he will not think that he/she is being blamed for a possible attack. Sure the jungles should be cleaned of the infestation but in the meantime one should be safe.
My teenage daughter was stuck in a traffic jam in Juhu that night. She said hordes of men in huge gangs were roaming on the road, sans women. Thier party place was just a five minute walk away but not a single girl in the group got our of the car and they took more than an hour to reach the place. It’s sad, but getting out of the car was unsafe. they knew it, they were told about it, they could see it as well. they have lived in India all their life. but NRI people don’t know. even last years incident where the girl wasmauled was an Indian American girl.
the fact is that the police should issue warnign to all women not to venture out…sorry if this is politically incorrect. but to me the trauma that a girl suffers after being subjected to this is more than I can stand. It’s just too hard for me.
once the police acknowledge that the law of the jungle is prevailing, then perhaps they will take steps to clean the city. whole of india rather. in Kolkata girls sitting in cars were attacked. these things happen in every city and not just on new years.
//women are ogled at, stared, leered at and pawed. On trains, buses, railway stations, everywhere and in broad daylight//
hey nita
u sound a bit too alarmist but hey this happens commonly in most asian countries not just india
south mumbai and mumbai in general atleast to me seems a lot safer
and women can do night shifts here no probs if they jst take basic precautions and use plain common sense
on trains there is the other side of the coin- there are separate compartments but most idiotic women prefer the very full gents or common cp when ladies go empty and then complain about being touched etc-in japan n korea it is a lot worse women have no special ladies cps
what you say is partially true, there are people mainly single male migrant workers who do drink and roam around during new yrs somethin that i have observed too
i think the girls were overall lucky cause if they would have gone to juhu beach they could have landed in big trouble in a secluded spot if found by vagabonds criminals etc and would have lost a lot more than parts of their clothes
more so the role of media was sad
they were interested in maligning mumbai an get their share of trp than genuinly interested in the couples safety
a fact that came out later from the victims statements
Prax, I agree that mumbai is less crime infested than in other places. But that is the point I made. It’s an all-india phenomenon which is not going away because molestation is taken lightly by most people, including the police and I am afraid even decent men. I have read of bloggers talk about so what if a man stares and leers and makes a comment, it’s not rape is it!! Unless they themselves are subjected to this treatment they will never understand. There are other men who deny that this kind of behavior in India is common. After leering and ogling and passing cheap comments the next step is molestation but that doesn’t mean that the former is okay. It isn’t. It’s humiliating for any woman to be stared at and leered at.
sorry if I sounded alarmist, but it’s time we became aware that it’s an alarming situation. It’s an all-india phenomena and we need to stop these junglees from behaving like this.
ok to be honest i follow the rule look dont oggle bt definitely dont touch pinch or comment or likes
blame govinda and censor board for it
they have a big role to play in this nonsense
i don’t know about others
certainly it is dehumanizing, i fully agree… but women here too are irritating and even an accidental bump is concluded as horniness, this from practical experience i had to reverse yell at a fat lady who started blastling off at me , she was first puzzled and surprised and even a bit embarrassed later when i told her i had better things to do.
lastly id like to add young men with parents easy money to the list of drunk revelers
and sometimes young ladies forget reality and wear clothes that might be disapproved of or not worn even in europe and us
plus it also depends on the woman and how she responds a few of my female friends have given a sound reply to such morons
main slave to an imperious hound
very interesting i like dogs too …
Hi Prax
the sentiment that women should be more careful, or know better, has been one that I have heard for ever. Maybe because I am a woman….
it is not just about locals or outsiders…. thought that too may pay a part…. it is this general feeling that a woman who is doesn’t follow the ‘rules’ is a legitimate target..
Hi Muthu,
so very true…. a healthy bout of basic sex education may also be not out of place….
Hi Nita
it can be a terrifying experience for a woman, any age… more so for a teenager…
I know what you mean…..
but, staying at home and purdahising our selves willingly is not the option. We do that, and the rest our rights will be compromised…
we have to fight for a safer society for us, our sisters and our daughters….and of course, the men in our lives….. !
prax,
so does she 🙂
Prax:
“…and sometimes young ladies forget reality and wear clothes that might be disapproved of or not worn even in europe and us..”
You probably did not read my comment: “A few hundred thousand women turn up in London to see the new year fireworks. And although it is cold but you would not know it from some women’s attires. Yet not one incident of molestation takes place or is reported to the police for action.”
Women in Europe routinely wear what they like and even when the weather is unsuitable they wear fairly revealing party dresses.
It is their body, their money and their clothes. Who has the right to ‘disapprove’ of anything?
Your argument suggests that somehow the women’s clothing makes them a willing target. That is exactly the kind of notions that Indian men need to be dispossessed of.
shefaly,
not just indian men, but a whole bunch of Indian women too… just read around blogdom……
prax… an ideal kingdom is one where a naked bejewelled woman can walk without fear of being raped or robbed……
Kindly do not twist my comment. I have not said that women need to purdah themselves.
I do not think that a womans dress has anything to do with her molestation. Or have you mixed my my comment with Prax’?? If that is so, I am very upset indeed and did not expect it of you.
Also nowhere have I said that women should not go out to railway stations and the like so if you were referring to me in your new post, I object. I have said clearly that going out late at night on new years eve for example is dangerous and no I do not think women should do it. Not because it’s morally wrong but because they need to be safe, the way the situation is in India.
I don’t know why we have to see these things in an extreme way. when a person is told not to go to a criminally infested area with a loaded wallet, does it mean he is told not to go out at all? That’s a ridiculous conclusion.
Hi NIta
Of course you haven’t said that women have to purdah them selves… What i said and i quote
While the male bloggers that i read are outraged (I am sure that there are the ‘they asked for it posts’ but i don’t read them) , quite a few of the women have talked about steps to take to keep oneself safe…
nor have i said that you have implied or said women should not go to railway stations or anywhere alone.
My point is that there is no where that women seem to be safe from molestation…if the onus is only on us to keep ourselves safe … then it is going to be an uphill if not impossible task. sensitization starts at home….
I am sorry if you felt that i twisted your comment …that definitely wasn’t the intention…..
As you have deleted your response to my earlier comment, I think my now my comment does make me look like an idiot doesn’t it! 🙂 Please delete then this comment as well as my comment about the purdah.
thanks
oops you haven’t deleted it. sorry for the mistake. I couldn’t find it earlier as this post has so many comments.
Please let it all stand.
thanks
🙂
not at all. should have used some kind of separator to distinguish between divergent thought streams……
It’s the damn media corrupting minds