And she died this morning. In a land far away. With her family near her. A girl whose only fault it was to think that she was safe in India.
In the capital city of India, the superpower in making, a woman out for a 6 pm show , dies after being gang raped and brutalized with a rusted car jack. Dumped on the street like a piece of garbage. And then, we have the gall to talk about India where they worship the woman. Don’t worship us, just let us get on with our lives – the way you do.
The trouble is women’s issues get brushed under the carpet. The State kow-tows to fundamentalists – Khap Panchayats guarantee votes, Parties & Governments – Centre & State -tradewomen’s rights with Muslim Fundamentalists for votes; Where caste honour mattes more than the right of the girl; Where ‘upper’ caste men rape lower caste women with impunity and nothing is done, because of power equations. In all this caste or religion or honour – the woman is lost.
But it is not just about political parties. How many times have you cringed where a male colleague has whistled and said ‘nice tits, nice arse’ about some other woman; or tried to hold your breasts in because some random male has checked it out; how many of you wear loose clothes so that your body looks like an asexual sack; How many times have you walked faster when you have seen 4 or 5 men together (even if they were standing there in total innocence, not even noticing you); How many times have you felt unsafe ? And if women like you and I can feel unsafe – with all our privileges, our private transport, men who have stood by us and treated us as comrades, imagine those who don”t.
The sheer helplessness is galling. When terrorists attack India we know whom to blame… when women get abused the way they do here – and remember this is a dangerous country for women – whom do we blame? It is in the home, in the workplace, in the neighbourhood, in schools, in colleges, in buses & trains… ask any woman in your life – has she been felt up by a random stranger or someone she knows. Ask her how she feels .. ask her.. and understand. Most women don’t talk about this -do you really want to deal with – did you look at him ‘that way’; what were you wearing; maybe you are misunderstanding…
I can’t remember the last time i cried. 26/11 was tears of rage. this is deep grief. This is personal. The tears just don’t stop. The Girl somehow became family.She was 23 – wanted to make something of her life. My students are that age. You should see them – full of hope, joy and sheer chutzpah. It is personal for them too..
The solution is not more restrictions on women to avoid rape and sexual harassment, the solution is to make India safer for women. the trouble is that women aren’t a vote bank. Our issues don’t matter. Our safety doesn’t matter. Our Dignity does not matter. Maybe it is time to Change that.
For the girl who died, I won’t say RIP – i will say – may your next life be better than this one. May you not be reborn here – May you be born in a world where you are not hunted. May you have happiness and laughter and freedom. May you just be allowed to be. Go in peace child.. may their be joy and laughter, security and equality in your next birth. . That is all i can wish for you. Go in peace..
Dear Harini, thank you for your beautiful heartfelt point of view which just made me weep. No amount of rage against politicians or the police will ever achieve anything unless people, and I include women in that category, don’t change their attitudes and ways. I hope poor Damini’s ordeal will not be completely in vain and that some good comes out of it for all those who continue to suffer at the hands of a society that has pretensions of super-power but would struggle to qualify in civilized society based on such behaviour.
Best wishes,
Rohini
It is time for a sustained campaign to see what best can be done with existing laws,justice should be shift & punishment severe so that one will think twice before attempting it,to achieve this the FIR should be registered promptly,rape should be made a non bailable offence,speedy trial & early conviction & immediately security to be provided in the rape prone areas
I felt the pain you felt. It’s sickening to know that the country we live in treats us like shit. I am scared to walk alone at night. I walk faster when I see men behind me. I fear for my body, not my belongings, when I walk. I just don’t feel safe. Let her not be a statistic in our lives. We need a change.
It’s beautifully written.
Shaili
🙁 i hear you…and i know what you mean …
We d people of this country( and of this subcontinent, looking at d larger picture) are slaves of our senses…We give in to temptation very quickly for short term pleasures… we r d ones who are willing to bite d hand that feeds us if that’s going to serve d purpose…
Philomena Amaral (philoamaral@hotmail.com)
This is outrageous and if India kowtows to this then India should hang her head down in shame .We frowned at how the slave were treated in the old days not now is it India’s turn to treat her own women with impunity and behave worse than animals,like dogs in heat. The world is watching and if India condones this act just because we are supposed to be non- aggressive. If our Mahatama Gandhiji was present what would he say ” the poor men had the urge so they had to behave like animals”,If the girl died it is not their fault that she chose to die and die after being brutally and sexually abused How would any Indian like it if their ‘Mother or sister or wife be raped and treated in the same way I think that these animals should not live to do something like this again nor should others copy what they did,for then no women in India will be safe to even walk on the road. So please Whoever is in charge of this case,”Wake up my country men and do what is right”.
Philomena Amaral
What moderations do you want ? Would any of you invite such animals to your homes. Maybe you will if you do not have a sister,daughter or a mother. Our Nation fought for freedom and we got it through Mahatama Gandhji and this is the so called freedom,that a girl gets brutally raped and murdered and there is a comment ,they were in heat like animals, so spare them,Am I talking to the law in this case, who is pleading for these these freaks of nature,these murders,these killers of a woman who belonged to India,wherein we know that we trust our country to keep us safe. In all these years I have never heard of such a thing happening. Put them to death so that our future men and sons do not turn out like them. As it is India is the talk of the world of the corruption going on in the government etc now everyone is looking on to see how India is going to handle this case of horror and dishonour. Have pity not only the one the poor girl,whom they put to death but also the future of our women and children of India and of the world.