My earliest memories of deepavali, were being woken up at the crack of dawn – have oil put on my head, a mixture of haldi and chandan on the face and body, and dragged into a bath. I must have been 3.  Post bath the goodies – new clothes, sweets and lehiyam.

But, Diwali in our families was always subdued. a) for us, it was only one day’s celebration. b) it was not the most important festival in our lives – Navratri was. c) there was usually very little money for fire crackers. My father ran a big family on one income, and we were brought up hearing, crackers are a waste, and you can’t shouldn’t burn Lakshmi.

Also, for us, the celebration of Diwali was Satyabhama killing Narakasura. So this entire North Indian festive season that is centered around Ram, and that starts with Navratri, culminates with the Death of Ravan and then the journey home to reach on Diwali day, that is part of the socio-cultural ethos, doesn’t exist. Over the next few centuries as India adopts common myths, it may. If i am not mistaken Kritikay – that marks the birth of Kartikeya used  to be far bigger a celebration.

But, big or not, important or not, it was a family thing. We celebrated diwali together as a family. Wherever we were. Mom still woke us up bright and early for Ganga Snanam. We still lit the single sparkler. We still lit diyas all over the house. we still ate all the sweets.

This is the first year, in a very long time, we aren’t celebrating.  For a festival that wasn’t so very important, suddenly it is. Ultimately, this, like every other festival is about family. About togetherness. About love. and, sharing. And, we terribly miss the core of our family, the man who generated the joy and laughter.

Next year is another Diwali. And we will celebrate it well (Inshallah).

For this year – Happy Deepavali to you and your family, and may there be peace and prosperity in your lives