May 102012

It is that time of the year when i trudge down to the Mumbai University in Kalina to correct answer papers. It is not a task that fills mewith joy. The university buildings have been designed by the same school that designed Gulags, there are rows and rows and rows of people correcting papers, the noise & the heat are unbearable … and the quality of students has been falling every single year since I began teaching 7 years ago. There are students who are good, who are terrible and who are out of this world. The last are incredible in their inventiveness but unfortunately that inventiveness has nothing remotely to do with the answers expected of them. As usual, i am sharing some of the best with you, dear reader. Enjoy, chuckle and wonder – are these going to be presenting news a few years from now.

  • Question on regional language news channels – In India 40% of the population are illiterate and socially backward. They would prefer their own regional language over English.
  • Community Radio, also known as All India Radio, shows help and gives information on Sati and widow remarriage to bring about soical change
  • Community Radio is the radio service of a particular community
  • Question write a feature on Vidya Balan – an average, simple Bengali Girl from Kolkata with simple looks, normal figure. Comes to Mumbai to start her career with a comedy show and at the end of the show she also disappears somewhere into the dark.
  • Question 7 questions for Rahul Dravid for a radio show – You have been one of the most successful captains of team India
  • Regional language TV & Radio are not exactly gaining much popularity but to some extent yes they are. (this child has an excellent future as a political party spokesperson)
  • Vidya Balan is basically from Calkota. She is a Bongoli beauty (their spelling not mine)
  • She has revolutionised the screen with her fatty fat look
  • FM Channels started in British India
  • For a question on short skits – we should have a separate channel to show short skirts on TV.
  • Nowadays every show in the world wants to compete on the basis of short skirts. The growing number of channels are resulting in the growing number of indecency.
  • In India FM Channels are kindly stated that controversial nationally crafted (no i don’t know what this means. yes, the rest of the paper was like this too- the haemoglobin of the atmosphere)
  • The radio was invented by G Macroni in 1875. He converted the sound of the wave into Electro magnetic wave that was aired and fed to the loud speaker which again converted them into sound (this child has a future at writing star trek dialogues)
  • The radio is a public flavour machine.
  • Prime Minister, Indira Gandhi on Independence Day, on the 15th of June 1982 held the Asian Games in Delhi

Seeing me hard at work compiling this, a fellow corrector who marked law & ethics paper gave me this gems.

  • the following drugs induce conception in women (this kid can write mytho soaps)
  • The act says no one should publish or encourage to publish an ad that
    • increases conception in women
    • to maintain or develop and increase the tendency of sexual pleasure
  • The Discrimination against the Child act states that….

😀 Keep watching this space for more in the coming days ..


Apr 192009

It is that time of the year again. i trudge down to Kalina and correct papers. The students who finish this course go on to become journalists .. and they come up with some gems. .

The University is still in the last century. Rows of table and plastic chairs, high ceilings and background chatter. It feels more like an assembly line – at some NGO making papads – than the University :)

The monotony of correction is broken by some gems from students :) gems that i meticulously note down and reproduce here…. The winner is:

On CNN’s success – Ronald Reagan was to travel in space through the Space Shuttle Challenger. There were however, rumours of his assassination !!

The runner up is
CNN effect – CNN coverage of second world war was very good. Because of this people didn’t go out shopping.

a) on community radio – In the US and Canada, Community Radio is also called Pirate Radio :) This wasn’t one student but a whole bunch of them … leading me to wonder if this is what they were taught ….

b) In India, Community Radio is used by a Community to make the community work

c) DD is functioned by a satellite called Aryabhatta

d) If any minister has died, the death ceremony is shown very nicely on Doordarshan

e) During Vijay Diwas of Kargil war the PM visits at the Delhi and gives obituary to our Jawarns and this is telecasted very nicely

f) FM is community radio with commercial radio

g) Ted Turner had started CNN with the thinking that conflict is news and news is conflic

h) This is to raise the value of TRP in society – on news sensationalism .

i) Rakhee Sawant and Mika kissing, increased the level of vulgarity in society

j) During Vietnam war every news channel telecasted it 24/7

k) On the Press Registration Act – an example – to illustrate registering name. Sachin P thinks of the name “kyonki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi. But that name Ekta Kapoor want for herself. Therefore she request to Sachin about to give her the name. He gave her. She broadcast the serial in that name……”
seriously !!

that’s all for now. keep watching for the next edition of gems from students