Gems from Students – 2012 summer

It is that time of the year when i trudge down to the Mumbai University in Kalina to correct answer papers. It is not a task that fills mewith joy. The university buildings have been designed by the same school that designed Gulags, there are rows and rows and rows of people correcting papers, the noise & the heat are unbearable … and the quality of students has been falling every single year since I began teaching 7 years ago. There are students who are good, who are terrible and who are out of this world. The last are incredible in their inventiveness but unfortunately that inventiveness has nothing remotely to do with the answers expected of them. As usual, i am sharing some of the best with you, dear reader. Enjoy, chuckle and wonder – are these going to be presenting news a few years from now.

  • Question on regional language news channels – In India 40% of the population are illiterate and socially backward. They would prefer their own regional language over English.
  • Community Radio, also known as All India Radio, shows help and gives information on Sati and widow remarriage to bring about soical change
  • Community Radio is the radio service of a particular community
  • Question write a feature on Vidya Balan – an average, simple Bengali Girl from Kolkata with simple looks, normal figure. Comes to Mumbai to start her career with a comedy show and at the end of the show she also disappears somewhere into the dark.
  • Question 7 questions for Rahul Dravid for a radio show – You have been one of the most successful captains of team India
  • Regional language TV & Radio are not exactly gaining much popularity but to some extent yes they are. (this child has an excellent future as a political party spokesperson)
  • Vidya Balan is basically from Calkota. She is a Bongoli beauty (their spelling not mine)
  • She has revolutionised the screen with her fatty fat look
  • FM Channels started in British India
  • For a question on short skits – we should have a separate channel to show short skirts on TV.
  • Nowadays every show in the world wants to compete on the basis of short skirts. The growing number of channels are resulting in the growing number of indecency.
  • In India FM Channels are kindly stated that controversial nationally crafted (no i don’t know what this means. yes, the rest of the paper was like this too- the haemoglobin of the atmosphere)
  • The radio was invented by G Macroni in 1875. He converted the sound of the wave into Electro magnetic wave that was aired and fed to the loud speaker which again converted them into sound (this child has a future at writing star trek dialogues)
  • The radio is a public flavour machine.
  • Prime Minister, Indira Gandhi on Independence Day, on the 15th of June 1982 held the Asian Games in Delhi

Seeing me hard at work compiling this, a fellow corrector who marked law & ethics paper gave me this gems.

  • the following drugs induce conception in women (this kid can write mytho soaps)
  • The act says no one should publish or encourage to publish an ad that
    • increases conception in women
    • to maintain or develop and increase the tendency of sexual pleasure
  • The Discrimination against the Child act states that….

😀 Keep watching this space for more in the coming days ..


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